Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
