by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
