The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We have so much sex to catch up on
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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