the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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