and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
