Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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