I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
