Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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