we're blogging at a bar
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
