Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
