But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
