sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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