Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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