i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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