If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
