Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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