I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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