he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
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You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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