I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
