just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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