who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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