I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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