My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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