if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
