on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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