the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
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he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
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All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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