i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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