She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
