You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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