I cockslap morals
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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