Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
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she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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