She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
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I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
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The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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