Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You've changed since you got that strap on
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
