she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
