it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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