how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
