In America we eat man semen.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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