Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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