I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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