So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
