im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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