I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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