I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Why did my mother make you get naked?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
