Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize