Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble http://tfl.nu/6bym
  Replies (10) Good night (1714) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): dear santa what can i do with your candy cane? http://tfl.nu/evo0
  Replies (2) Good night (1218) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me. http://tfl.nu/ujwu
  Replies (21) Good night (3123) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet http://tfl.nu/ryzv
  Replies (19) Good night (4765) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final http://tfl.nu/3a2h
  Replies (11) Good night (5270) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening. http://tfl.nu/nbt7
  Replies (15) Good night (5498) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower? http://tfl.nu/o882
  Replies (15) Good night (958) Bad night (3993)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes. http://tfl.nu/56a9
  Replies (19) Good night (9046) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here. http://tfl.nu/72ey
  Replies (13) Good night (2195) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina http://tfl.nu/fhci
  Replies (11) Good night (2885) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina http://tfl.nu/lruw
  Replies (8) Good night (1450) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison. http://tfl.nu/fqll
  Replies (2) Good night (681) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls http://tfl.nu/z0xl
  Replies (10) Good night (887) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/kh9k
  Replies (0) Good night (446) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame. http://tfl.nu/omwv
  Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (266)

Randomize