Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.

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  (561): Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign. http://tfl.nu/lnzh
  Replies (4) Good night (1068) Bad night (949)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  mmm whisky

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  reminds me of losing my job

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  (402): mmm whisky (402): reminds me of losing my job http://tfl.nu/6ugp
  Replies (3) Good night (1098) Bad night (2828)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  $1 pitcher night should be outlawed.

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  (859): $1 pitcher night should be outlawed. http://tfl.nu/2dye
  Replies (38) Good night (5382) Bad night (940)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?

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  (919): At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex? http://tfl.nu/35cd
  Replies (27) Good night (1106) Bad night (4892)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing

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  (414): I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud? (262): Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing http://tfl.nu/ndin
  Replies (20) Good night (6281) Bad night (1168)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse

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  (316): its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse http://tfl.nu/neow
  Replies (18) Good night (3623) Bad night (1141)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You're so demanding.

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  (618): Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka (816): You're so demanding. http://tfl.nu/w483
  Replies (3) Good night (1928) Bad night (1182)
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  (714): View more from California

  And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize

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  (714): And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize http://tfl.nu/o5b5
  Replies (4) Good night (1973) Bad night (653)
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  (510): View more from California

  yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him

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  (510): yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him http://tfl.nu/nlke
  Replies (2) Good night (1755) Bad night (669)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!

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  (208): Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!! http://tfl.nu/fdif
  Replies (11) Good night (1373) Bad night (587)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.

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  (903): And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table. http://tfl.nu/a0uv
  Replies (1) Good night (771) Bad night (422)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?

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  (336): Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank? http://tfl.nu/yo0k
  Replies (4) Good night (970) Bad night (799)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!

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  (816): One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays! http://tfl.nu/bzpk
  Replies (3) Good night (833) Bad night (421)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Who is also still dressed up as a pirate

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  (703): Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor (703): Who is also still dressed up as a pirate http://tfl.nu/yo9o
  Replies (5) Good night (535) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well

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  (724): I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well http://tfl.nu/bhyq
  Replies (3) Good night (607) Bad night (225)

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