Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
