Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.