why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.