Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!

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  (502): WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?! http://tfl.nu/ajcv
  Replies (16) Good night (1285) Bad night (4805)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.

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  (651): nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list. http://tfl.nu/o8v1
  Replies (13) Good night (3970) Bad night (590)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.

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  (317): honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill. http://tfl.nu/orse
  Replies (10) Good night (3880) Bad night (700)
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  (909): View more from California

  I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.

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  (909): I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho. http://tfl.nu/pviw
  Replies (9) Good night (774) Bad night (4181)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined

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  (301): I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined http://tfl.nu/iip9
  Replies (19) Good night (956) Bad night (3189)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.

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  (608): last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome. http://tfl.nu/a48x
  Replies (32) Good night (8989) Bad night (1785)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.

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  (336): I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable. http://tfl.nu/7b9p
  Replies (12) Good night (3477) Bad night (1621)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.

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  (704): Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/6wvk
  Replies (9) Good night (2154) Bad night (993)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"

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  (586): on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish" http://tfl.nu/8ky3
  Replies (10) Good night (3041) Bad night (1272)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.

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  (812): I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday. http://tfl.nu/ol7y
  Replies (11) Good night (2401) Bad night (747)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.

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  (814): since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops. http://tfl.nu/bn1i
  Replies (11) Good night (685) Bad night (2089)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"

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  (270): My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50" http://tfl.nu/q36v
  Replies (11) Good night (1884) Bad night (579)
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  (209): View more from California

  We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.

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  (209): We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela. http://tfl.nu/h3z9
  Replies (3) Good night (891) Bad night (391)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest

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  (802): I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest http://tfl.nu/d882
  Replies (5) Good night (1142) Bad night (395)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?

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  (443): There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut? http://tfl.nu/irwu
  Replies (3) Good night (356) Bad night (684)

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