U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
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I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
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what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
