Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(571): View more from Virginia

so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.

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(571): so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice. http://tfl.nu/ogb6

Replies (14) Good night (1784) Bad night (841)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.

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(479): Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships. http://tfl.nu/he2q

Replies (69) Good night (1724) Bad night (2690)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.

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(201): i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms. http://tfl.nu/0e58

Replies (8) Good night (4423) Bad night (661)
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(845): View more from New York

beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween

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(845): beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween http://tfl.nu/oes5

Replies (26) Good night (5793) Bad night (495)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.

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(815): I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed. http://tfl.nu/hsgt

Replies (35) Good night (1758) Bad night (6726)
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(231): View more from Michigan

i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget

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(231): i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget http://tfl.nu/6lyk

Replies (15) Good night (1025) Bad night (5618)
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(352): View more from Florida

i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

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(352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb

Replies (184) Good night (52458) Bad night (2564)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner

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(413): also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner http://tfl.nu/h4oj

Replies (4) Good night (2184) Bad night (1023)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina

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(920): Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina http://tfl.nu/ae28

Replies (10) Good night (2902) Bad night (644)
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(512): View more from Texas

Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis

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(512): Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis http://tfl.nu/fz62

Replies (6) Good night (2172) Bad night (636)
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(817): View more from Texas

Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose

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(817): Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose http://tfl.nu/bx5q

Replies (0) Good night (424) Bad night (783)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.

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(859): You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep. http://tfl.nu/roy1

Replies (5) Good night (1184) Bad night (399)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.

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(505): Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot. http://tfl.nu/8yik

Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (281)
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(954): View more from Florida

Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book

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(954): Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book http://tfl.nu/wp44

Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (192)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone

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(860): grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone http://tfl.nu/vpvv

Replies (2) Good night (1009) Bad night (198)

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