Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?

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  (614): Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right? http://tfl.nu/9010
  Replies (17) Good night (4722) Bad night (581)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...

  (214): View more from Texas

  Was she wearing cherry chapstick??

  (972): View more from Texas

  No. Life's not always a fairytale.....

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  (972): Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan... (214): Was she wearing cherry chapstick?? (972): No. Life's not always a fairytale..... http://tfl.nu/2nel
  Replies (24) Good night (6635) Bad night (864)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.

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  (303): No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it. http://tfl.nu/eofg
  Replies (11) Good night (1269) Bad night (6206)
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  (310): View more from California

  Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone

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  (310): Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone http://tfl.nu/koze
  Replies (36) Good night (2605) Bad night (5260)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..

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  (416): You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill.. http://tfl.nu/sqyp
  Replies (5) Good night (4233) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!

  (315): View more from New York

  AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!

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  (315): MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!! (315): AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/witt
  Replies (16) Good night (6057) Bad night (1450)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt

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  (402): Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt http://tfl.nu/efn4
  Replies (7) Good night (2222) Bad night (1215)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing

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  (803): happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing http://tfl.nu/1mhx
  Replies (2) Good night (1304) Bad night (683)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me

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  (903): So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me http://tfl.nu/8jt8
  Replies (7) Good night (1154) Bad night (485)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.

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  (708): I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily. http://tfl.nu/de3q
  Replies (3) Good night (2032) Bad night (488)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.

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  (406): Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home. http://tfl.nu/eyf5
  Replies (6) Good night (889) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now

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  (815): I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now http://tfl.nu/x5ns
  Replies (5) Good night (944) Bad night (360)
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  (714): View more from California

  I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time

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  (714): I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time http://tfl.nu/bvah
  Replies (8) Good night (924) Bad night (359)
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  (916): View more from California

  He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.

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  (916): He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying. http://tfl.nu/67jj
  Replies (2) Good night (681) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?

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  (308): Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet? http://tfl.nu/pue4
  Replies (1) Good night (731) Bad night (238)

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