I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
