She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
