im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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