WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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