Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize