how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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