I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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