My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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