I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
