he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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