I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
