I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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