I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.