I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.