oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.